Archive for the ‘social’ Category

Addiction to Thinking

Randall sought my help because he was stuck being miserable and had no idea how to get out of his misery. In his life he had experienced moments of great joy and sense of oneness with all of life, but those moments were infrequent. He wanted more of those moments but had no idea how to bring them about.
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Addiction to Self-Judgment

"I'm such a jerk. How could I have said that?" "I'm a looser. I'll never get anywhere." "I'm so stupid. I should have learned this by now." "I don't fit in. I don't belong with these people." "I'll never be good enough. I'll never do it right enough." "I'm permanently emotionally damaged. I'll never be okay." "No one could love me. I'm not lovable."
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Addiction to Worry

Carole started counseling with me because she was depressed. She had been ill with chronic fatigue syndrome for a long time and believed her depression was due to this. In the course of our work together, she became aware that her depression was actually coming from her negative thinking - Carole was a constant worrier. Many words out of her mouth centered around her concerns that something bad might happen. "What if I never get well?" "What if my husband gets sick?" "What if I run out of money?" (Carole and her husband ran a very successful business and there was no indication that it would not go on being successful). "What if my son gets into drugs?" "What if my kids don't get into good colleges?" "What if someone breaks into the house?"
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Addiction to Complaining

Complaining is a way of life for some people. It was certainly a way of life for my mother. I don't remember a day going by without her complaining, endlessly. I don't think I ever heard a word of gratitude out of my mother's mouth. No matter how good things were, she would manage to find something wrong. No matter how perfect I was - and God knows I tried to be perfect! - she always found something wrong with me, as well as with my father.
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Addiction to Blame

Allen consulted with me because his wife of 18 years had threatened to leave him if he didn't stop blaming her all the time. He admitted to frequently blaming her in a variety of situations. He blamed her if he thought she made a mistake, if he thought she was wrong about something, if he was feeling alone, or even if he had a bad day at work. He blamed her for asking him questions when he didn't know the answer. He would sometimes even blame her if his golf game was off. He always blamed her when he felt judged by her, or when he didn't get her approval. While he freely admitted that he blamed her, he couldn't seem to stop, and he had no idea why he blamed her.
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